She wagged her finger in my face, demanding to know if I was one of those reprehensible people....
As client services director at Options, I’m sometimes amused at how certain folks who aren’t familiar with our center, perceive my job. Reactions run the gamut from supportive and sympathetic to critical and downright hostile. Once, while at a party, a very angry woman cornered me, wagged her finger in my face, and demanded to know if I was one of those reprehensible people who lure women to our center and pressure them not to have an abortion. “Do I seem reprehensible to you?,” I asked her. Never mind that the party was in my home and that she was creating a scene. When she calmed down, I tried to explain to her what Options offers to our clients who are experiencing a crisis or unplanned pregnancy, namely a safe place to make a sound decision, with accurate medical information and freedom to explore without judgement, the full range of choices that are available to her.
I was reminded of that conversation a few weeks ago when I sat with a client while she waited for the nurse manager to bring her a copy of her pregnancy verification. We chatted and got to know each other. She was uninsured as are many of our clients. This was not her first pregnancy. With her previous pregnancy she was treated at a health center in Philadelphia, the city where she was living at the time. Although she was married, she was uninsured and financially stressed. After verifying her pregnancy, the doctor assumed that she wanted to terminate.
“You don’t have to have it, you know...you can have an abortion. Let me schedule one for you.”
After her initial shock, my client explained that she intended to carry and to keep her baby, and that the doctor had no right to assume that she wanted an abortion. My client shared that she felt that the atmosphere at the clinic was intimidating and that wrong assumptions were made because of her economic and social status, and race. “I wasn’t even treated like a person, -my baby not worth keeping. You can’t treat people like that,” she told me. It’s wrong, just plain wrong.”
Before she left Options, she thanked us for our services, specifically for her pregnancy verification with our nurse manager and the time she spent with her counselor. “It’s a totally different atmosphere here,” she said.“It’s nonthreatening and respectful towards women. I’m so glad I came here. There needs to be more places like this. Thank you for everything.”
Like I said, it’s been a few weeks since I met with this client but her words still haunt me. I can’t help but think of the irony of our two experiences. I was accused of pressuring women not to abort, while my client claimed the opposite proved true when she walked into a women’s health clinic to receive prenatal care -that she was pressured to abort! Of course, the information I present here is anecdotal, detailing the experience of one specific woman who came to our center, but who knows how many more like her are out there? Women who are encouraged to have abortions because of their social and economic status.
At Options each client is treated like the unique individual she is and nothing is assumed about her personhood. We listen and value her feelings and concerns, especially as they relate to her pregnancy. Although we never tell her what she should do, we help her to see what is possible by giving her the medical facts she requests and counseling on which she can base her decision.
There are no misleading moments at Options, no biased assumptions of our client’s desires, no coercion, no humiliation. There is, however, peace and a respite from crisis, genuine concern for her welfare, early prenatal intervention and medical information, and time and space for her to make an informed decision. And our services are freely offered to her without any eye for profit.
Now, I ask you as I asked someone else a long time ago: Does that sound reprehensible to you?
I was reminded of that conversation a few weeks ago when I sat with a client while she waited for the nurse manager to bring her a copy of her pregnancy verification. We chatted and got to know each other. She was uninsured as are many of our clients. This was not her first pregnancy. With her previous pregnancy she was treated at a health center in Philadelphia, the city where she was living at the time. Although she was married, she was uninsured and financially stressed. After verifying her pregnancy, the doctor assumed that she wanted to terminate.
“You don’t have to have it, you know...you can have an abortion. Let me schedule one for you.”
After her initial shock, my client explained that she intended to carry and to keep her baby, and that the doctor had no right to assume that she wanted an abortion. My client shared that she felt that the atmosphere at the clinic was intimidating and that wrong assumptions were made because of her economic and social status, and race. “I wasn’t even treated like a person, -my baby not worth keeping. You can’t treat people like that,” she told me. It’s wrong, just plain wrong.”
Before she left Options, she thanked us for our services, specifically for her pregnancy verification with our nurse manager and the time she spent with her counselor. “It’s a totally different atmosphere here,” she said.“It’s nonthreatening and respectful towards women. I’m so glad I came here. There needs to be more places like this. Thank you for everything.”
Like I said, it’s been a few weeks since I met with this client but her words still haunt me. I can’t help but think of the irony of our two experiences. I was accused of pressuring women not to abort, while my client claimed the opposite proved true when she walked into a women’s health clinic to receive prenatal care -that she was pressured to abort! Of course, the information I present here is anecdotal, detailing the experience of one specific woman who came to our center, but who knows how many more like her are out there? Women who are encouraged to have abortions because of their social and economic status.
At Options each client is treated like the unique individual she is and nothing is assumed about her personhood. We listen and value her feelings and concerns, especially as they relate to her pregnancy. Although we never tell her what she should do, we help her to see what is possible by giving her the medical facts she requests and counseling on which she can base her decision.
There are no misleading moments at Options, no biased assumptions of our client’s desires, no coercion, no humiliation. There is, however, peace and a respite from crisis, genuine concern for her welfare, early prenatal intervention and medical information, and time and space for her to make an informed decision. And our services are freely offered to her without any eye for profit.
Now, I ask you as I asked someone else a long time ago: Does that sound reprehensible to you?
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